When you're through learning, you're through.

- sign in the office of John Wooden, Hall of Fame college coach

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important.

- T.S. Eliot

One Solitary Life

Addressing his Philadelphia congregation in 1926, Dr. James Francis made the following observations about “one solitary life " ….

Here is a man who was born in an obscure village, the child of a peasant woman.
He grew up in another village. He worked in a carpenter shop until He was thirty.
Then for three years He was an itinerant preacher.

He never owned a home. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He
never had a family. He never went to college. He never put His foot inside a big
city. He never traveled two hundred miles from the place He was born. He never
did one of the things that usually accompany greatness. He had no credentials but Himself.

While still a young man, the tide of popular opinion turned against him. His friends
ran away. One of them denied Him. He was turned over to His enemies. He went
through the mockery of a trial. He was nailed upon a cross between two thieves.
While He was dying, His executioners gambled for the only piece of property He
had on earth – His coat. When He was dead, He was laid in a borrowed grave
through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen long centuries have come and gone, and today He is a centerpiece of the human race and leader of the column of progress.

I am far within the mark when I say that all the armies that ever marched, all the
navies that were ever built; all the parliaments that ever sat and all the kings that
ever reigned, put together, have not affected the life of man upon this earth as
powerfully as has that one solitary life.

Inspriational Words from Mother Teresa

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends
and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten;
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

--Mother Teresa

How to wash a Golf Shirt

Our friends at Cutter & Buck recommend the following:
Button the shirt all the way up. Flip the collar straight up.
Turn the shirt inside out and wash on settings as directed.
There you go!

The following is a pre-approved posting whose purpose is to offer insight and advice to Northerners moving South.

1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed on
how to use it shortly.

2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean
Southerners can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men
in the cab of a four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a
tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just
stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you
already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks,
you're better off trying to find it yourself.

5. Remember: “Y'all” is singular. “All y'all” is plural. “All
y'all's” is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They
don't understand you, either.

8. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol", as in "big
ol truck", or "big ol boy". "Fixin'", as in "I'm fixin' to go
to the store", is 2nd. And "Y'all" is 3rd.

9. As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph
zone directly in the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern
folks learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper
speed and lane position for that vehicle.

10. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch
this!", stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he
will ever say, or worse still, that you will ever hear.

11. Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those
who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a
Southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was
already turned on when the car was purchased.

12. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth
cooking, let alone eating.

13. The wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait
until December.

14. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even
the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is
required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you
need anything from the store. It is just something you're
supposed to do.

15. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you
purchase one, it is positioned directly in front of the house.
This is logical, bearing in mind that the dish cost
considerably more than the house and should, therefore, be
prominently displayed.


To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most
difficult of all." Goethe

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

Dont use any punctuation marks

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Always specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.

When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time
this week!!!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

Sing along at the opera.

If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.
–Maximus Promo-Itemus


A cheerful heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22